The Pebble and the Avalanche

Secret Jargon of the Computer Folk

Earlier this week I visited the Apple web site to purchase some computer memory for my older Mac laptop. In the end, I had to give up and call Apple to find out which memory to purchase.

The problem is Apple's web site, which reflects a trend in the wider industry. With almost no effort on Apple's part, the model number or serial number of the laptop could be entered on the web page an easily call up a perfectly fine, exact description of the laptop. Instead, the "shop for computer memory" section offers me a selection of laptops to choose from. Apple is completely wrapped up in their internal jargon and present me with terms such as "generation six" to describe the laptop. Unfortunately, what they don't describe at all is my particular laptop — my 2.33 GHz laptop simply does not appear on the list of available machines.

The problem here is that Apple wants to use me as a pattern-matching machine (this picture? this date of purchase? this processor speed?) to find out which laptop I have, even though they have a definite, unequivocal method to let me know (my model number). This is a common and annoying user interface error; I discuss similar errors in my latest online talk. The fix is easy enough, of course, and I admit that I'm surprised that Apple is willing to spend money on phone calls like mine instead of fixing the problem.

Topics:  · business · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

How's that Web Thing Work?

I received a letter from People's Gas, the local Chicago natural gas monopoly. I'm obligated, it seems, to schedule an inspection of my gas meter or they'll cut me off (eventually). But the letter gave a complicated URL to a web site that — they claimed — would let me schedule an inspection. After fiddling around with their registration and other intrusive inquiries, I finally clicked on the "safety inspection" link — to find that it's not as promised; it's for something else entirely. People's Gas is directing its customers to non-existent links on its web site. After wasting time on the web site, I will now have to waste time on the phone.

Not that Commonwealth Edison, the local electricity monopoly, is any better. Last night the power started to fluctuate. I went to the web to find the number to call — and found a link to "report outage." But instead of letting me report an outage, the link required me to find information on my bill, register, give them an email address, and so on and so forth. I have to hand it to ComEd — they actually found a way to make it easier to use the phone than the web.

People's Gas is oblivious, sloppy, and clumsy, but ComEd adds an additional layer of obliviousness: they have failed to disaggregate the different tasks that I want to accomplish online. Access to my account information may require (some) of the information they request; but why should I have to register and have an account with ComEd just to report a downed power line?

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Comments: 2, Trackbacks: 0

"Terrible" and "Misleading" Marketing from Microsoft

Those quotes in the title are from an internal Microsoft email, produced in evidence during a class-action lawsuit against Microsoft.

"I believe we are going to be misleading customers with the Capable program," Allchin wrote in an e-mail to a group of Microsoft product executives. PC makers "will say a machine is Capable and customers will believe that it will run all the core Vista features," wrote Allchin, in the April, 2006 message.

As I said in the book, Microsoft's technology model is to oppose innovation instead of supporting innovation. As a direct consequence, Microsoft constantly finds itself pushed to the edge — or over the edge — of ethical behavior in order to resist the forces of technological progress.

Topics:  · marketing · microsoft

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Credit-Crunch Candy

I love the way marketing professionals can take a negative concept, disaggregate it from its original meaning, and then use it for positive marketing. Retailers in the UK are marketing "credit-crunch candy" as well as a slew of other items.

Topics:  · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

A Tide of Spam: Shutdown Time

While I was away for the holiday I received a tide of spam from various sources. First there's Ashok "Oblivious" Dande, who is determined to send me several pieces of spam day in and day out. Next comes Andre Mark of "Baytalkitec" who says in a letter apparently written by someone who didn't pay attention during in high school English classes that "I have done a study about your company and feel that you will need IVVR in near future."

As some of you know, I use hundreds of email addresses, and I shut them off when they've become infected. Ordinarily I would just turn off this particular address and be done with it, but I have a horrid fascination about this particular infection and I wonder just how far it will spread.

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Constant Contact the Refrain: The "Subscriptions" Keep Coming

After my public complaint about Constant Contact, and their response that they "require" opt-in, I decided to take a look in my log files. I discovered over 300 emails from Constant Contact servers since August 2006, not one of which was opt-in.

I admit that I didn't terribly mind some of the emails, such as the ones from my publishers. On the other hand I found others quite annoying, and as such I decided last year to block all email Constant Contact and tell the people I do want to hear from that their email will never be delivered if they use Constant Contact. As an example, just in the past week I've received what appear to be two new subscriptions to mailing lists: the "Jules F. Knapp Entrepreneurship Center" as well as "Identity Circle." I can't say that I have ever heard of them, and of course I've never opted in to receive emails from them. It's just spam as far as Internet etiquette is concerned — unsolicited mass email — regardless if it somehow squeezes in under the rules of CAN-SPAM.

Fortunately, my spam filters now delete all email from Constant Contact correctly, that is to say immediately — problem solved.

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Another Entry in the Hall of Shame

Another entry in the Hall of Shame: Exact Target, another firm that allows companies to create mailing lists without explicit opt-in. Just in case you were wondering about how to go about spamming within the letter of the law, and "avoid common CAN-SPAM pitfalls (like ISP SPAM filters)," you may ask for a handy white paper.

I've modified my email filters so that I'll never see any of their email again, but really, this is getting out of hand.

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Other Fools Heard From

On my list of charities who will never receive a donation: "Lechem.org," which invaded my privacy with a pre-recorded phone call.

On my list of companies to avoid: Systel Computers. I've just received spam from Ashok Dande, who apparently bought a list of names from some spammer somewhere and is now sending me recruitment information.

Topics:  · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Still Under Attack from Constant Contact

One of the annoying spam enablers on the Internet is an organization called "Constant Contact," which lets anyone use its facilities to send out spam. For example, right now I receive a costant stream of spam from Keerthi Chaitanya, of a company called NAM-IT, who assures me his spam isn't really spam because I could opt-out if I maneuver the obstacles he's erected.

I need to work on my filters: all email from Constant Contact is supposed to be immediately destroyed.

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback

Comments: 3, Trackbacks: 0

Wrong Again

I just had an interaction with another person who can't quite figure out Internet marketing. He (or she) uses Twitter to provide information and prizes on behalf of his employer, Kerasotes. The problem is that this person subscribed to my feed, which triggered an email to me and caused me to waste my time trying to figure out who this person was — and the person also subscribed to the feeds of thousands of others and therefore no doubt triggered emails to hundreds of others. I complained, publicly, and the person behind the Twitter account told me that the entire episode wasn't a spam attack because he was providing information and "schwag" (give-aways and prizes).

Now, I don't have anything against giveaways and I don't mind schwag — but I do mind people who abuse the system. I went from knowing nothing about Kerasotes to ill-will towards the company. At this point I've had to turn off notifications of people who subscribe to my Twitter account, mainly because they come with a dreary frequency from people marketing one thing or the other — their "information and schwag," wine reviews, or pornography.

Kerasotes' notification was the final straw. I will no longer receive email updates when someone subscribes to my Twitter feed. I've cut back on the list of people I subscribe to. A person who gave too many low-information updates is gone; a person who posted an offensive comment about Gov. Palin is gone; everyone else is on probation to see if they can produce useful information.

Until Twitter restores its ability to look for interesting terms in its posts (e.g., "speech recognition" or "disaggregation"), Twitters's utility as a technical tool is compromised. I may need to abandon it for the Next Thing.

Topics:  · internet · marketing

Link to this story · Leave comment or trackback